5 Ways To Set Personal Boundaries In Couple and Marital Relationships
We often discuss, collaborate and teach our clients about personal boundaries, how to set them and explore roadblocks encountered while trying to implement them. Our clients have had great success with them and are often able to work on personal growth by becoming comfortable in setting boundaries.
Personal Boundaries are rules and lines we draw based on our personal needs
of space, including physical, emotional, time, sexual and material boundaries.
Why is Setting Boundaries Essential?
➔ Defines what belongs to me, and what does not belong to me
When you create personal boundaries, you are defining and recognizing your own needs for space and sense of control. It is a fence we build to protect ourselves in a relationship. It adds to our sense of security and can build comfort in a relationship. Eventually we can learn to be vulnerable when we know our boundaries will be respected.
➔ Reduces burnout (emotional, physical and mental exhaustion)
Having personal boundaries is an important key to not feel like being taken for
granted. For example, consider this - do you feel that you are not allowed to express yourself freely? Do you feel that your opinions/choices/wishes are not being considered? Well, without a boundary, you may falsely rationalize your partner’s behavior by reassuring yourself that they did not mean to be rude, manipulative or are not dominating.
You want to feel you stand on an equal footing in your relationships. manipulated and dominated. Please know that this cycle could end up increasing the chance of burnout as your mental resources are being exhausted and you might not even know but could be getting gaslit ; therefore, setting boundaries early on are essential to your health and healthy relationships.
➔ Leads to us feeling empowered
When you set boundaries and they are honored, you feel better about yourself because you are inner self is being protected. It adds to one's confidence and sense of self mastery. Setting a boundary is a way for you to avoid the
feeling of being taken advantage of.
➔ Promotes healthy and comfortable couple and marital relationships
The clear, well-defined boundaries give individual space to build a healthy and
comfortable relationship. You and your partner will understand and recognize the space needed by each other. An essential part of a couples and marital
relationship is to be able to understand and recognize our partners needs and limitations without sacrificing our own and creating a balance between the two.
Allow us to help you guide through the process of ' Setting Boundaries.' Our trained clinicians are here to help.
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5 Ways to Set Personal Boundaries
1. Know your needs. Honour your inner child and acknowledge your time and energy limitations. Learn to say ' No'
2. Communicate clearly, firmly, and respectfully with others about your
boundaries (example: “I do not like the way you take away my phone without
My permission. Please stop.”)
3. Acknowledge that boundaries are not meant to be apologetic. Everyone has
their limits and it is totally acceptable
4. Respect the others’ boundaries
5. Acknowledge that personal boundaries do not need detailed explanations.
Everyone has their own way of determining and defining what they want to do
and where to draw the line.
Wishing you all the best as you get ready to set your own boundaries or clearly define them.
