How to be assertive at work?
Are you struggling with work stress?
Do you feel like a push over or have you felt that your boundaries are being breached and not respected?
Perhaps, what you have to say, share or present is not being valued, acknowledged or being considered?
There could be a lot you are dealing with and the good news, is that Wellness North’s professional counsellors are here to help but let’s start by us sharing some valuable tips that you can perhaps implement right away or can start using them to your advantage in some way or the other. See what sticks and what helps your situation. Crux of the matter is that being assertive at work can help you communicate effectively, set firm boundaries, and advocate for yourself and your ideas. This is your way of showing up for yourself and loving/supporting that inner child.
Use "I" statements and use a soft tone: You don’t have to shout to be heard. Start by vocalizing what you are feeling. You got to give yourself ‘ Voice, Choice and Power.’
Rather than attacking or blaming others, try to express your feelings and needs using "I" statements. For example, instead of saying "You never include me in important meetings," try saying "I feel left out when I'm not included in important meetings and would appreciate the opportunity to be more involved."
Another one could be , “ Why was this not communicated to me before.” vs “ I feel that lack of transparency in this organization is hurting my ability to be efficient” or
“ Why are we shelving this project or why does my team always has to suffer or why has no one gotten back to me “ vs “ I feel my contributions are not being recognized ‘ “ I am not getting the opportunities to grow/shine/I feel I am lacking the opportunities to grow” “ I feel thwarted in my ability to manage my team.’
It’s all coming from a place of you advocating for your needs and you voicing what you need versus keeping it in your head or just thinking about it versues doing something about it. Remember the old saying, ‘Squeaky wheel gets the grease’ or perhaps gets replaced but you don’t want to work at a place where you dont have any autonomy, voice or freedom to be you and shine.
Set boundaries : It's important to set clear boundaries at work to really protect your time and energy. This could include setting limits on the amount of overtime you're willing to work or saying no to tasks that are outside of your job scope. When you just join a job, there could be some learning curves and the desire to prove yourself but ask yourself ‘ at what cost and is it going to be sustainable.’ ‘ Is it going to cost you your personal time’ and will you become resentful of your boss and co-workers. You don’t want to be your work phone to be ringing at night or in the middle of dinner with your family. Leave work at work (or at your desk if you work from home).
Communicate openly and honestly: Be upfront and transparent in your communication, and be willing to speak up when you have concerns or ideas. Think of what is the worse that can happen? They might shot down your idea ( you’ll be in the same position you are in right now) but what if they actually like it and implement it? You will not only be able to enhance your confidence and self esteem but this experience might encourage you to take more calculated risks.
Practice active listening: When others are speaking, give them your full attention and try to understand their perspective. This can help build trust and respect in your relationships at work.
Don't be afraid to ask for help: It's okay to ask for help when you need it. This could mean asking a coworker for assistance with a project or seeking guidance from a manager. Asking for help is in no way an indication that you are weak or lack skills. It could be a sign that your are learning, growing and are willing to improve.
Practice: Being assertive is a skill that takes practice. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and learn from them as you work on becoming more assertive at work.
