How to Heal From Critical Inner Voice

Take a moment and reflect on ‘ How do you talk to yourself ?’ Are you being kind and compassionate when you talk to that inner child and authentic, true, real self or are you being a bully? 

Let’s work together on finding that inner cheerleader. Love, respect, compassion, kindness that you display to the external world, can you find it for yourself too? How are you showing up in the world? Is your inner turmoil being transferred into your interactions with others or is it a self damaging situation? 

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Many times, we experience self-doubt and negative thoughts after stressful events such as social rejection, breakup, interpersonal conflict etc. Daily hassles and interactions we find challenging can also trigger us and evoke unhealthy thoughts. Our critical inner voice is one of our enemies and can manifest as harmful and judgemental thoughts, harsh internal criticism and intrusive inner dialogues which are unwanted and unpleasant. 

Critical inner voice is also what we call self-talk and nagging thoughts, that we use as a defensive process to protect ourselves from the potential dangers. Of course, those negative thought patterns might have been beneficial in some way in the past but once they take deep roots, they sabotage our wellbeing. So, long-term reliance on critical inner thoughts is problematic and slowly it can stop protecting us. Eventually, it makes us question our worth, puts a dent in our confidence and self esteem. 

Some critical inner voice examples are: 

• ‘I am not as good as anyone else’

• ‘No one cares about me ‘

• ‘I am not smart’

• ‘ I am useless’ 

• ‘I am stupid’

Consider the last statement. Are you actually stupid or did you do something that wasn’t very smart. Well, in the end we are all humans and make mistakes. No one is perfect so don't put that pressure on yourself to be a perfectionist. 

Three ways that research suggests can help us in our healing journey include the following: 

1. Understand that critical inner voice

 It is important to recognize that an inner critic has power to influence our behaviour. Critical inner voice can become habitual which strengthens its power over your mind. E.g. When your inner voice thinks, “I am not creative enough,” your behaviour is influenced by your critical inner voice and can self-limit your creativity as a result. Learn to take its power away. 

2. Recognize your triggers

Pay attention to what you are thinking. What happened that caused you to think the way you are thinking? It is important to recognize that sometimes your inner thoughts are untrue. When you find yourself engaging with unhealthy thoughts, it can affect our mood so do something to change your mood. Do something fulfilling. 

3. Paying attention to other things that matter

Shifting yourself from the critical inner voice by doing something else to distract from the negative thoughts could be helpful. Perhaps, practice problem-solving strategy. Instead of telling yourself to stop thinking about the triggering event, it is better to really proactively do something to remove yourself from the negative cycle of thinking. Consider focusing on your achievements and accomplishments. Explore ways to take away your focus from negative to positive or from past or future to present or do something interesting like listen to your favourite music, try a new hobby, take a walk, hang out with people who are a positive influence etc. 

To have better control over what we think, we have to practice mindfulness, self love and compassion and embark on this journey to understand our experiences and meaning we attach to these experiences. So, are you ready to stand up against that inner critic and find that courage inside to begin your healing journey. It’s time you move from survive to thrive mode and we are here to help and support.

Inspired from: 

Brady, S. M. (2018). Mastering your inner critic and 7 other high hurdles to

advancement: How the best women leaders practice self-awareness to change

what really matters. McGraw-Hill Education.

Jacobs, D. R., & ProQuest (Firm). (2017). Banish your inner critic: Silence the voice

of self-doubt to unleash your creativity and do your best work. Mango Media.