How counselling can support children and youth whose parents are going through separation and divorce?
Divorce and separation can many times have a negative impact on children but it doesnt have to be. With the help of a right professional, children can learn to navigate their complex internal and external environment. Please know that our team of qualified therapists are here to support you and your family through this tough chapter of your life. We have supported several families going through in a safe and confidential way so don’t hesitate to connect with us if you believe we can be of assistance:
Here are several ways in which counselling can help children during this difficult time:
Emotional Support: More than ever before, children need guidance and help in the adjustment phase and if parents are caught up in their own chaos and drama, children can feel left out. Although parents well intentioned might not have emotional capacity to be present for their children. Children and youth are in crucial developing stage of their lives. Counselling can provide a safe and empathetic environment for children to express their feelings, fears, and concerns about the separation or divorce to an objective third party/ a professional as opposed to family and friends. It allows them to process their emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, or guilt, with the guidance of a trained therapist who can understand and validate their experiences.
Preventing the role reveral: Parentification can happen and children might assume role of adults or behave in unusual ways during parents divorce and separation. Counselling helps children gain a better understanding of the separation or divorce process, including the reasons behind it ( we do this in a simplified, dignified way), the changes that may occur, and the legal procedures involved. This knowledge can help alleviate uncertainty and provide a sense of stability and predictability.
Coping with Change: Don’t we all want our children and youth to grow up as well adjusted adults. We owe it to them to have right tools to do so. Divorce or separation often brings significant changes to a child's life, such as living arrangements, school changes, and adjustments in routines. Counselling equips children with coping strategies to manage these changes, adapt to new circumstances, and develop resilience.
Managing Feelings of Loyalty and Guilt: Many parents dont want their children to have to choose between one parent or the other. Couple might not love each other but several do prioritize their children’t wellbeing and rightfully so. Unfortunately, many pit their children against one another. Children can thus experience conflicting emotions, feeling torn between their parents or blaming themselves for the separation. Counselling helps them process these feelings and understand that the divorce or separation is not their fault. It can also alleviate any misplaced feelings of guilt or responsibility.
Communication Skills: Counselling provides an opportunity for children to learn and practice healthy communication skills, allowing them to express their needs and concerns effectively to each of their parents or atleast that’s the hope. This can help improve communication between children and their parents, leading to more constructive and supportive family dynamics.
Co-Parenting Support: Counselling can offer guidance and support to parents, helping them understand how their actions and communication affect their child's well-being. By working with the child's parents, a counsellor can help establish healthy co-parenting strategies and promote cooperation, minimizing conflict and creating a more stable environment for the child.
Normalizing Feelings and Experiences: Counselling helps children realize that they are not alone in their experiences and feelings. Connecting with other children going through similar situations, either in group counselling or through support networks, can provide a sense of validation and comfort.
Instilling hope, Future Planning and Adjustment: If children and youth did not see it coming, the news of parents separation can be devastating. Counselling assists children in envisioning a positive future despite the challenges they are currently facing. It helps them set realistic goals, develop problem-solving skills, and adjust to new family dynamics, fostering a sense of hope and optimism.
Our qualified and experienced child therapists and counsellors who specializes in working with children and families during divorce or separation can be a good resource to connect with and they tailor their approach to the child's age, developmental stage, and specific needs, ensuring that the counselling process is age-appropriate and effective. Using somatic, play therapy, CBT and anxiety alleviating interventions, we can support your child and your family.
Call us today at: 1-604-317-9267 or email us at: info@wellnessnorth.ca to get started on the process.
