Six practical DBT skills you can learn to implement in your everyday life
I remember when I was a graduate student and was doing my practicum, I had a few cases of borderline personalities. Now, I am not about diagnosis and labels but at that time, I was advised that DBT skills could be a good tools to add to my repertoire. For those who don’t know, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is an offshoot of CBT. All of our clinicians are very skilled at using CBT tools in their sessions if requested by the client or if the need is detected by the service providers. DBT goes one step further and it is a form of therapy that helps individuals regulate their emotions, improve relationships, and better manage stress. Folks who require DBT typically have a full on team of support and service providers. Wellness North clinicians work with psychiatrists, GPs, Hospital staff, family members and outpatient clinics to provide this support to our clients.
We also offer DBT groups as we are fully aware that therapy can be expensive to assess for many people. If you know of someone who can use DBT skills, please consider sharing this post. If you or someone you know can benefit from a DBT group then contact us to get on our waitlist so we can get you in when we offer our next group.
For starters, here are six practical DBT skills, you can start using in your daily life to build some resilience and support your internal system:
Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This is one of my personal favourites and a tool I assess frequently when I feel overwhelmed. Right now, take a moment to notice how are you breathing. Can you slow down your breath and make it a bit more fuller, richer and take it deep down to your belly. Notice the rise and fall of your belly as you inhale and exhale. If it helps, give yourself permission to touch your belly and observe the rise and fall of your stomach with your inhale and exhale. Also, observing your surroundings when you feel anxious. Have you ever tried 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, exercise? It’s a great tool for grounding. Some of the other activities we recommend in your everyday life would be mindful walking, guided meditation with a teacher or an activity like yoga.
Distress tolerance: This particular skill requires a lot of practice especially if your system feels overwhelmed. In order to not retraumatize the system, we first build our resource kit. Resource kit could be our soothing tools or adaptive coping mechanisms. This could be you recalling your positive memories or pleasant experiences. It could be your safe people and safe places. Distress tolerance skills help you manage difficult emotions and situations without making them worse. It is so important that before we work on processing any trauma, we have a safety plan on hand along with strong resources. Once you’ve got your safety jacket on, with a help of a skilled practitioner you can start to learn, how to swim. Key is to ensure that you don’t jump in the deep end of the pool - no matter how enticing or exciting that prospect might be.
Emotion regulation: Emotion regulation skills are essential to self regulate and to stay in our window of tolerance. When we are out of our window of tolerance an dhyper aroused, we canbecome overwhelmed and anxious. In our hypoarousal state, we can feel exhausted, drained and depressed. If we develop some emotional intelligence, we can easily identify our own emotions, our triggers and develop a plan to manage them in a healthy way. We invite you to right now take account of your emotions and ask yourself if you have a solid plan to move through them effectively. If not, reach out to your counsellor or our mental health team to learn ways to regulate them. Some ways could be using mindfulness techniques to acknowledge and accept your emotions, using "wise mind" to make decisions, or finding healthy adaptive coping ways to express your emotions. For me personally - dance, movement, yoga, journalling , hiking, talking to a friend, talking to a therapist and self reflection have been great ways to create space for emotions.
Interpersonal effectiveness: Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you communicate effectively and set boundaries in relationships. This could include using "I" statements, practicing active listening, and setting limits with others.
Self-care: Self-care involves taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. This could include activities like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and participating in activities that bring you joy.
Reality acceptance: Reality acceptance skills help you accept things as they are, rather than trying to change them. If you find yourself stuck in the patterns of black and white thinking then this could be a good path to explore. What is the reality? What is the evidence for it? Is it a thought? opining or a fact? Try to further understand this concept by using mindfulness techniques to accept your thoughts and feelings, or finding healthy ways to cope with difficult situations.
As many things in life - like walking, swimming, learning to ride a bike etc - DBT skills are learned over time and may require practice and repetition to become more effective. Are you ready to learn them?
